Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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