i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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