Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
