Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
