I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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