well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
