I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
