Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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