Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
