Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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