Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
