I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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