never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
