areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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