so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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