I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
