Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
