R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
