We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
