This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
