i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
