What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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