do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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