Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
