R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
