No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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