so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
one two three fourrrrnication!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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