In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
