so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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