He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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