Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize