Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
