she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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