Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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