I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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