She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
