I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
