just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
