SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
