is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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