I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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