His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
