how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
