Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
