I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
