i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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