Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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