my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
