I cockslap morals
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We need to get me chipped asap
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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