This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
